The problem of demandingness

Have you ever met someone who is demanding? Have you ever seen yourself being demanding? How do you feel? What do you think?

I think we all agree to what demandingness is.
• It is ugly
• It is a show of pride
• It is the exposure of sin in the heart

Demandingness is anger that can weaken our health

We are a demanding people.
· We demand that slow drivers get out of the way
· We demand that the waiter serves us promptly
· We demand that our spouses respond to our needs
· We demand that our children be what we want them to be
· We demand that ….

In relationships with people
· Demandingness erodes trust because it shows you don’t understand others and you are impatient with them
· Demandingness exerts pressure that oppresses (some breakdown under such pressure)
· Demandingness destroys freedom and brings bondage

Maturity
· The beginning of maturity is an estimate of oneself that makes demandingness unthinkable.
· And that estimate develops when we confront the reality of who God is and who we are.
· GOD IS THE LORD! HE IS TOTALLY IN CHARGE FOREVER! Not me!
· Proud people demand
· God opposes the proud who demand but He gives grace to the humble who express their hurt.
· There is NO ONE whose high estimate of himself qualifies him to tell God what to do.
· The necessary foundation for any relationship with God is a recognition that God is God and we are not.
· We therefore have no business demanding anything of anyone, no matter how much we long for relief from pain or we long for what we want immediately.
· It is wrong to internally demand that your loved ones become a Christian or your spouse stop drinking or your rebellious child straighten up.
· Desire much, pray for much BUT demand nothing.
· To trust God is to demand nothing!

Humility
· Perhaps the 1st step in learning humility is to consider who it is we think must change.
· Certainly NOT GOD
· Or even others
· Certainly it is ME who needs to change

(Luk 6:35-38 NKJV)
55 But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil
36 Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.
37 "Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
38 Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you."